The American Astronaut (2001)

Horror Movies & Sci-Fi Movies Database	05.11.08

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Space travel has become a dirty way of life dominated by derelicts, grease monkeys, thieves, and hard-boiled interplanetary traders such as Samuel Curtis, an astronaut from Earth who deals in a rare goods, living or otherwise. His mission begins with the unlikely delivery of a cat to a small outer-belt asteroid saloon where he meets his former dance partner, and renowned interplanetary fruit thief, the Blueberry Pirate. As payment for his delivery of the cat, Curtis receives a homemade cloning device already in the process of creating a creature most rare in this space quadrant... a Real Live Girl. At the suggestion of the Blueberry Pirate, Curtis takes the Real Live Girl to Jupiter where women have long been a mystery. There, he proposes a trade with the owner of Jupiter: the Real Live Girl clone for the Boy Who Actually Saw A Woman's Breast. The Boy Who Actually Saw A Woman's Breast is regarded as royalty on the all-male mining planet of Jupiter because of his unique and exotic contact with a woman. It is Curtis' intention to take The Boy to Venus and trade him for the remains of Johnny R., a man who spent his lifetime serving as a human stud for the Southern belles of Venus, a planet populated only by women. Upon returning Johnny R's body to his bereaved family on earth, Curtis will receive a handsome reward. It all seems simple enough. But while hashing out the plan with the Blueberry Pirate, Curtis is spotted by his nemesis, Professor Hess. Possessed by an enigmatic obsession with Curtis, Heiss is capable of killing without reason, unless his intended victim is someone with whom he has unresolved issues. Heiss has been pursuing Samuel Curtis throughout the solar system in order that he might forgive him, then kill him. Along the way, Heiss has executed each and every individual to come into contact with Curtis. Unaware of this danger, Curtis sets forth on his mission. After retrieving The Boy Who Actually Saw A Woman's Breast from Jupiter, Curtis is contacted by Professor Heiss, who makes his intentions known. Fearful, Curtis and The Boy look for a place to hide. They come across a primitive space station constructed by Nevada State silver miners from the late 1800s. Inside they discover a small group of miners still alive, their bodies crippled and deformed by space atrophy. Unable to return home for fear that Earth's gravity would kill them, two of the miners mated and give birth to a boy known as Bodysuit. He has been raised in a suit of hydraulics to simulate Earth's gravity with the intention of eventually sending him home. In trade for supplies and sanctuary, Curtis agrees to deliver Bodysuit to Earth. Once they land on the lush planet of Venus, the terrain dramatically changes, and Curtis is inspired by a plan. And it may just happen that in a solar system ruled by commerce and danger, sometimes good can prevail. Movie Tagline: Space is a lonely town. Title: American Astronaut, The Release Date: January 20, 2001 Runtime: 91 mins Genre: Musical All Genres: Musical, Comedy, Sci-Fi Languages: English Country: USA Colors: Black and White Sound: Dolby Digital IMDB Rating: 7.2 Brimstone Pit Rating: 8.2 - (Rate This Horror Movie) Category: Horror Movies Starting With A MPAA Rating: M Director(s): Cory McAbee Cast: Cory McAbee ...Samuel Curtis / Silverminer Rocco Sisto ...Professor Hess Greg Russell Cook ...The Boy Who Actually Saw a Woman's Breast (as... Annie Golden ...Cloris James Ransone ...Bodysuit Joshua Taylor ...Blueberry Pirate Tom Aldredge ...Old Man Bill Buell ...Eddie Peter McRobbie ...Lee Vilensky Mark Manley ...Henchman #1 (Hey Boy!) Ned Sublette ...Henchman #2 (Hey Boy!) Joseph McKenna ...Doorman Doug McKean ...Silverminer Jake Bentley Wood ...young Johnny R. Amir Darvish ...Mars Worker Darryl Reuben Hall ...Astronaut Robert Philip Marcus ...Goggles Melissa Wilder ...Lady Venus Remaining Cast: Producer(s): Michael Krantz Robert Lurie William Perkins Joshua Taylor Writer(s): Cory McAbee Composer(s): The Billy Nayer Show Movie Soundtrack(s): "The American Astronaut" "Ceres" "The Incubator" "Hey Boy" "Love Smiles" "Sand Man" "A" "Baby in the Jar" "Party" "Like Nothing Ever Heard" More Movie Taglines: Space is a lonely town. Movie Quote(s): Old Man: Hey. Is it just me, or do my balls itch? Samuel Curtis: I think it's you. Old Man: Good. For a minute, I thought my balls itched. Old Man: So this guy walks into a bar and he says to the bartender, "Can I use your phone?" The bartender says, "Sure." So he wipes his ass on it and the bar - What? Ah, shit. I just told you the punchline. Been telling this joke so fuckin' long, I knew I'd fuck it up. Old Man: So there's this man, and he lived his whole life on Earth, and his name was Mr. Stevenson. When Mr. Stevenson was eight years old, he asked another little boy if he would like a Hurts Donut. The other boy said yes. So he hit him on the arm and he said, "Hurts Donut." Five years later, Mr. Stevenson asked another boy about his same age at that time if he would like a Hurts Donut. when the boy said yes, Mr. Stevenson stabbed him over and over again in his eye and his cheek with a pencil, saying "Hurts Donut." Over the years, Mr. Stevenson did very well in school. On graduation day, he was sat next to another young man, who, like Mr. Stevenson, had earned high marks. When he asked the boy if he would like a Hurts Donut, the boy said, "Not if you're gonna stab me in the eye with a pencil." "I wouldn't even touch you," said Mr. Stevenson. So when the boy agreed, he presented him with a photograph of the young man's fiancée at a bachelor party, on some guy's table, fucking herself with a beer bottle. As tears filled the young man's eyes, Mr. Stevenson was heard to say, "Hurts Donut." A few years later, Mr. Stevenson got a job as a sales clerk in an electronics store. Within a year, he was caught stealing and immediately incarcerated. When he asked his cellmate if he would like a Hurts Donut, his cellmate said yeah. So... he gave him a Hurts Donut. Over the years, Mr. Stevenson grew too old to take care of himself, so they put him in a hospital. One day, he asked the new nurse if she would like a Hurts Donut. In anticipation of her response, Mr. Stevenson began humming and making smacking noises with his mouth. When the nurse smiled and said, "I know about you, Mr. Stevenson," Mr. Stevenson blurted out something totally incoherent and... and began to laugh. [the bar patrons are laughing uproariously] Old Man: I've never understood this joke. But then, I've never been to Earth. [Samuel is sleeping] Voice: What did your father teach you? What did your father teach you? What did your father teach you? What did your father teach you? What did your father teach you? [Samuel wakes up, hits a switch, and speaks into a receiver] Samuel Curtis: My father taught me to kill the sunflower. Voice: Congratulations, Mr. Curtis. You are now awake. Two hours to Jupiter. The Boy Who Actually Saw a Woman's Breast: It was round and soft. Now go back to work. Movie Trivia: When the alarm goes off: "What did your father teach you?", Curtis has to answer "My father taught me to kill the sunflower," which was something Cory McAbee once mistakenly thought someone said to him. The costumes for the women of Venus were made from shower curtains. According to the DVD director's commentary, moviegoers would come up to Cory McAbee during film festivals and ask where he got the Old Man to recite the "donut" joke, not realizing it was Tom Aldredge. Bill Buell's dance during "Love Smiles" was choreographed on the spot by director Cory McAbee by shouting things like "show us your karate, Bill!" and "the birds are attacking, Bill!" IMDB Links: » User Comments at imdb.com » More information at imdb.com Keywords: Planet, Spacecraft, Stand Up Comedian, Song, Bar  ...[more] Keywords All: Cult Favorite, Musical Number, Absurdism, Black Comedy, Outer Space, Surrealism, Independent Film Seen it? Rate it Currently 8.20/10 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 Rating: 8.2 out of 10.0 - 50 votes cast total buy movie on dvd del.icio.us  |  digg  |  reddit Enter your zipcode for movie listings: » BACK TO HORROR MOVIES LIST